Recipe Rant

Don't worry guys. I'm still here. It's so hard to remember to write about everyday things when this massive life change is taking place in the background--anybody with me? I keep waiting for "the next big step" to happen so I can tell you all about it. But this blog wasn't created to update you on my adoption. It's all about ME. So you'll just have to deal. Muahahaha.

I'm going old school today with a classic Jesse rant regarding recipes posted on the internet. Ok, let's say you're in the mood for a new chili recipe. You go on over to your old friends at allrecipes.com and have a little looksey. Bam--there it is. Best rated recipe by 523 people. If you're like me you always check out the comments--you can find valuable information like whether it's better if made the day before, if you can alter the instructions to make it in the crock pot, if you can freeze and then reheat, you get the picture. This is where my rant begins...

What is the deal with people that give the recipe 5 stars and say, "I absolutely loved this recipe..." and then continue in their comment to explain all the ways they changed the recipe. It's one thing to say "if you like your chili spicy, you can add a little extra Tabasco." (Except, duh--everyone knows that.) Or "I browned my beef before putting it in the crock pot because that makes it more flavorful." But it's an entirely different matter to say, "I substituted the ground beef for these three types of beans; instead of these 5 spices, I used these other 5 spices; I added 4 extra vegetables; And instead of canned tomatoes, I used pineapple juice." What the what? There is no way "you loved the recipe" if you changed everything about it.

Also, say this recipe had a "secret ingredient." I'll use the picture to the left as an example--this Cincinnati chili had unsweetened chocolate in it's recipe. It's the ingredient that when you taste the chili, you say "what is that fabulous taste that I can't seem to recognize??" For many dishes, true greatness has been solely linked to the secret ingredient factor. Well, the second person who commented on this recipe just blatantly omitted the chocolate. Because she wanted to. And then commented on how great the chili was. Even though she made it without the secret ingredient or BEANS. (I mean who makes chili without ANY beans?? Who are you, lady??) Note: Please do not comment on this post to tell me about the bean-less chili that you make and love.

It's fine and well if you want to alter a recipe to fit your preferences and lifestyle. But I believe this disqualifies you from commenting on the recipe--because you DON'T KNOW what the real recipe tastes like. You might as well just create your own recipe with your new alterations on which people can comment.

The disdain in this post is not coming from personal experience, for all of you wondering who dissed my recipe on the internet. (Ha.) It's just a cooking peeve that I've bottled up for a good long while. I would like to note that this practice of changing the entire recipe and then commenting on it is prevalent throughout the internet--Martha Stewart, Giada, Rachael Ray, and the honorable Missus Pioneer Woman...they all suffer from the recipe-changer-commenters. (Speaking of the honorable missus, another secret ingredient example: All the people who just left the coffee out of maple icing on PW's Cinnamon Rolls "because they don't like coffee." Just try it, people! The icing didn't even taste like coffee, and you missed out on a goooood thing. But even if you're not going to try it, don't post on her blog and tell her, because you sound lame.)

It's not like I post on other people's blogs and say things like "I completely agree with you, Sally. That dress is adorable on your little girl. Except I hate dresses. And I hate your little girl. So I really mean that I love the way my dog looks in a tutu." Or: "Decorating Diva, I was so enamored by your refinished toy chest that I decided to take on your project myself. Except instead of refinishing a toy chest, I used a couch. And instead of refinishing it, I reupholstered it."

Whew. It feels good to let that out. Now, I'm going to go make some coffee. But instead of using coffee grounds, I'm going to use a tea bag.