I Heart Ironman

I was flipping through the channels today and came across the one program that motivates me more than any other. Some of you might think this was Alias, and you would be incorrect, though I am a die-hard fan. Clean Sweep, What Not to Wear, and Extreme Makeover Home Edition all give me a little motivational buzz, but they are nothing compared to this.



I Heart the Ironman Triathlon. The real one, in Kona, Hawaii. I secretly think in my mind that I want to complete this race before I die. Never mind the fact that I can't swim underwater without holding my nose. Never mind that the longest I've ever ridden a bike was 20-something miles at the Memphis Midnight Bike Classic in 2002, and I thought my legs would drop off as long as my arms didn't give out first! Never mind the fact that I have run 3 half marathons, which might sound impressive, except for the fact that around the twelfth mile of each I have thought There is no way I will ever run twice this amount as I split apart from those sorry sucker marathon runners to run my last half-marathon mile. Forget all of that, because I would train my booty off and dominate my mind for the chance to finish an Ironman.

Ironman is about overcoming odds. About doing something that you never thought you could do. About ordinary people accomplishing extraordinary feats. About paining for gain. Oooo...can't you feel that adrenaline begging to rush through your limbs?

Since I will probably never come close to swimming one mile all at one time, let alone finishing an Ironman Triathlon (but who knows?), I settle every year for watching the television special. This program makes me, too, want to accomplish extraordinary feats. Like cleaning the clothes off of our bedroom chair. (Stop laughing, Nick--I'll get to it tomorrow.) Or giving my dog a bath. Running my eleven-minute mile in ten. Or changing my towel more than once a week. (That one's for you, Leslie.)

If you dream these things (and more, hopefully) for your life, you will REALLY be inspired by this: