a little and a lot

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

happy birthday, snickerdoodle

todays gift bag had a package of pepperidge farms soft baked snickerdoodles and plans to eat dessert at the kisers tonight...yummy!

totally unrelated, today's post involves one question that i would like hear people's input on:

* can you throw yourself a birthday party?

i don't mean so that other people will feel bad that they didn't throw you one or so that you will get lots of presents, but just for the sake of celebrating another year of your life with people you like?

in recent years, i have felt so sad on my birthday. even if it was a good one--last year's was hilarious, even. nick got me a really fabulous over-the-top gift (bose ipod speakers!) and then we headed downtown to watch "casablanca" play at the orpheum. all of these people in leather and chains and tattoos were walking down the street toward the orpheum with us and i thought to myself, "this is really strange...i didn't know casablanca had such a diverse fan club!" when we went to the box office to buy tickets, the man said they were $50 apiece! what??! we said that sounded a little expensive just to watch a movie and the man looked at us puzzled and said, "duran duran is a band, not a movie." whoops. must've gotten my movie dates mixed up.

anyways, back to the sadness...for some reason, i always feel anonymous on my birthday. just another person having a birthday. ho hum. i turn 26 this year...this is big, people! i am now on the side of my 20's that is closer to 30! so i think i would like to throw a party for myself. perhaps a little cookout or an outing or a homemade ice cream shindig complete with a fireworks display and marching band.

what do you think? what do you think is fun to do on your own birthday? what makes a good birthday party? is it wrong to throw yourself a party?


Heather said...

Hi Jesse,
I clicked on a link to your blog from Tesney's blog. I am a fellow Memphian! I have enjoyed reading your posts. I'm not a stalker, I promise. :-)

I turned 26 three years ago and I definitely think you need to celebrate the back side of 20 (what I called it.) I also think it is certainly okay to have a little get together in honor of yourself. Go for it!

By the way, it sounds like you have a really great hubby!

Ashley @ pure and lovely said...

awe so sweet. i dont think its wrong to throw yourself a party. i also think birthdays are overrated though. its like this big day when people are invited and it shows others how loved you are, when really its just whether or not they could make it to dinner that day or not. its really placed too high on the list, if you know what I mean, and now that its aidens turn, im like omgah bring out the live band and private disney characters obtorage? what? i coldnt think of anything else. ok im tired. bubye

khovater said...

Okay Jesse, you absolutely know how I feel about this. Do you not think that throwing your own party would perpetuate the problem of feeling anonymous on your bithday. If it were me and to be honest there have been several years where I have felt the same, I think that the whole time I was at this party that I hosted, I would be thinking "why do I have to do this for myself, don't these people love me?" It really would not mean as much to me. I guess it depends on what you are wanting out of this gathering. If the goal is to have something like this on your birthday becuase you love these people and want to spend your speacial day with them becuase that is want you want to do without the slightest bit of resentment, then Go For It! If it is for any other reason then I wouldn't but that is just me. Also I think that there is something to be said for making that day availible to the folks who might want to plan something for you. If you already have something planned then others may not get a chance to make a big deal out of your birthdy. Tell me this, how much of this thought process is stemming from you missing Nick? I only ask becuase when Steven is gone and i am not getting the attention that I am used to I tend to feel or think things that I normally would not wonder about. I am still a beleiver, by the way, that you can't give your self a nickname... kelvinator.

Jesse Faris said...

Oh, Kell. I wish you were here in person so we could have a hilarious argument about throwing yourself a party and giving yourself a nickname.

It would not be out of resentment. Summer birthdays are just hard--they are so easy to forget and people are often out of town. It's just something I accept. Holiday bdays are probably the same. Instead of being disappointed because I place an expectation upon my friends that they will remember and perhaps they don't or they don't plan anything etc, I just keep thinking that if I throw my own party then I can do what I really wanted to do--hang out with my friends.

I think the idea is stemming less from missing Nick and more from post-wedding noneventfulness.

Jesse Faris said...

Oh, and Heather:
Do we know each other? That's so fun that we are both in Memphis!

Tesney said...

If you want to know how I feel about the importance of birtdays, go to Leslie's blog and read my lengthy commentary on her "The Overshadowed Birthday" post. I say throw yourself the biggest shin-dig ever! Oh! And buy yourself a great present because you never know if anyone else will.

Ashley @ pure and lovely said...

ok so did you know that when you leave a comment on someone elses blog, Jesse, and we hit the link to your name, it doesn't take us to your blog from your profile? it might be easier for people to get to. I just didnt know if you knew that or not...

Heather said...

I don't think we know each other. I grew up in Alabama (same hometown as Tesney.) I just moved to Memphis about 6 years ago. I love finding new people with this whole blogging thing though.

Jesse Faris said...

ash: dude, i do NOT know what the problem is...my blog just won't show up on my profile. i put a link in my profile under the "my website" link. bummer.

heather: i've been in memphis for about 5 years. i agree--it's been fun meeting new people and finding old friends on this thing. you never know the connections you'll make!

khovater said...

Well go for it then! I absolutely support you doing it. Can we come? I think that you are so right about summer birthdays. It's no fun to celebrate other b-days all year and then everybody is to busy for yours. And I read some where that you show and receive love through gifts well if you give and then don't get I can see how that would be hard. I just don't want you to perpetuate the problem. I am sorry there are no big events to really look forward to after the biggest event of your life. Boringness is a bummer, but also very comforting. Buy yourself a fun new something just because, but try hard to not feel bad about. I am not good at that. You are right, this discussion would be much more fun in person!

lee said...

warning! advice from your mother!
delete at your own risk!

throw a party any day you choose,
but remember that genuine hospitality
requires your generosity.

do you want the sacrifices of hosting
to eclipse the significance of what
you're really celebrating?

alrighty then, better to plan Nick's birthday and he to plan yours.

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