a little and a lot

Monday, July 29, 2013

Pulling Teeth

Luckily, we are not at the literal "pulling teeth" stage of parenthood, which is most likely my most dreaded stage.  (Ick.)

Pulling teeth is more about having one billion trillion things to get out of my brain & onto a webpage, and then when the actual moment comes for writing...nothing...

So, this post is going to be more like going for a run after taking an entire season off.  Here I am, all huffing & puffing for writing material.  Feeling all clumsy & non-creative.  But I know it will come back to me with some practice.

Is it even possible to post on this blog without a picture of my child?  A picture of anything??

{Huff, puff} Whew!  How long do I have left?  One legitimate paragraph of material?  Let's do this! {Huff, puff}

Wait, I need to take a walking break.

Ok, after a whole weekend of "walking break," here's what I'm chewing on today: "The joy of the Lord is my strength."  (Good ole Nehemiah 8:10)

There are days, weeks even, at our house when I am gritting my teeth, just trying to make it to bedtime.  Life with a three-and-five-twelfths-year-old is an interesting mix of surprising camaraderie and straight up nails-on-chalkboard testing of boundaries.  It's the latter part that has me putting my head down with a grimace, evoking phrases from my little darling such as, "Mommy, your eyebrows look so mad!"

Today, as my little terrorist cherub ;) cued the dramatics regarding our weekly ritual of hair time, I whimsically looked her in the eye and said, "You will not steal my joy today.  Mommy is soooo strong in the joy of the Lord!"  While this did cause a brief hesitation upon pondering the meaning of what I said, it really had no bearing upon her behavior.  She went right on back to pitching a fit about not wanting her hair conditioned.

But, MY behavior...well, so far, it's made all the difference.  (Rats!  I surely just jinxed myself, seeing as it's only 2pm!)

I am SO EASILY influenced by my preschooler's moods & behavior, as if it is a reflection on my success and worse, a thermostat for my own emotions.  At the end of those exhausting, teeth-gritting days, I long for...creativity...celebration...joy.  (Particularly because I want to actually "enjoy" this stay-at-home-mom gig for which we're making some significant sacrifices.  What's the point of slashing budgets & doing without when it's all agony & misery, right?)  And I was mulling this over this morning, when God reminded me of Nehemiah 8:10.  I often feel so worn out in this season of life, and then guilty because I feel worn out.  I need STRENGTH.  I need JOY.  What good news that God's joy IS my strength!

The practical application is that this is the mantra that washed over me when my heart's thermometer was rising ever-so-high at various points today.  Rhet's pushing and testing and learning processes don't have to jerk me around today.  I am strong enough in God's joy to keep my sense of humor and wit--to find a calm & creative way to give do-overs.  I feel my eyes softening, my jaw loosening, my shoulders relaxing as I am reminded that having a 3-yr-old in my house IS NOT A CRISIS!  And the very person with potential for stealing my joy also has a potential for sharing it.  


Adopting Rhet: Click on the timeline above to read more