a little and a lot

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Dirt on Thirty

Ok, here's the truth:
I made it to Year Thirty.
I just like to keep you in suspense....

Conveniently, the last five years are aaaaall recorded on this here blog.
(Happy Belated 5-Year Anniversary, Your Mom's Blog!)
It's been quite amusing to watch myself grow up in blog posts.
And that's what is different about being 30, I think. I maybe feel as close to feeling "grown up" as I'm going to get? It was a shock each year in my 20's to realize that being grown up feels like..."this." And yet, looking back, I was still growing up all along.

I still am! I just "get it" now, I think?

(Our engagement day, October 10, 2005!)
Oh, look at this little girl.
So cute, thin, and happy.
There's the man that brought technicolor to her life,
holding that newly engaged hand.

I got married near the end of Year Twenty-Five. And Nick has helped me become the best possible version of myself in the last five years. I thought I had grown up and solidified my identity before I met Nick. I moved to a city where I had no friends my age and lived by myself, I got my first dog, I discovered my love of running. I honed my cooking skillz. I took swimming lessons to overcome my fear of going underwater. I was a grown. up.

And then I met this man. I want to say he changed my life. But he didn't--he just helped me to get to know myself better. These last five years, God has used my husband to refine me into someone who is truly okay with who He made me to be.

Fat face. That is what I think when I see myself in pictures. It's not necessarily a matter of weight gain or weight loss (although, there's always room for discipline in this sweet tooth's life!)...it is just what my "grown up face" looks like. I don't look like I'm 25 anymore. I don't think I'll ever look like that again. Cest la vie. But that's the point. I still like my face. Even when it looks like fat face, it's still MY face. That's what being 30 looks like for me so far. There is a serenity and peace and knowledge of myself that wasn't there 15, 10, 5 years ago. If this is what getting old(er) is like...I like it.

(July 16, 2010 @ Trolley Stop Market)

We celebrated with friends, pizza, and Muddy's cupcakes.
I had also made chocolate brownie cupcakes,
and they ended up like this in the parking lot
as they made their arrival:
Oh, it was sad for sure.
But it was no big deal.
I might have freaked if I was 25, but good heavens, not at 30.
Come on, now, we're all grown ups!
(Good thing we had the Muddy's.)

Earlier that morning, Nick had left me some freshly brewed coffee
and these little gems around the house:

Time stands still, indeed.
(Adoption Update: Still waiting!) ;)


Jane said...

Love it. You two are so fun! Happy 30s. I still feel like a kid, myself, and have to remind myself that I'm NOT 4, I'm 30.

Mike Thomas said...

I am writing to ask for your permission to include your posts on
AdoptionExperiences.com and include a link to your blog in our
directory. We would
include a link back to your blog fully crediting you for your work
along with a profile about you listed on AdoptionExperiences.com .
Please let us
know as soon as possible.


Mike Thomas

Christy said...

Happy 30th, Jess! It's a fun year! I think I used it almost like a validation that yes, I am old enough to be a professional working woman. Almost bragging when I'd say, "Oh, I'm 30, not 19 like you seem to think..." And yes, you'll find yourself acting like your parents, especially when you bring that little baby home. :) Have a fun year!

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