a little and a lot

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Back in the 8th Grade

My worst fear during times of change has been the same since Jr High.  It is the all-important question, the one that keeps you up half the night in anxiety and knaws at the deep part of your stomach in those days and hours before the newness begins:

Who will I eat lunch with?

I know...You would think I'd have gotten over that one by now, right?  Nope.  Whether it's when I started kindergarten, Jr High, two new high schools, college, grad school, or new jobs, it's always the same. 

On the eve of beginning my second ever real world job, I am worried about this issue.  Does everyone go out?  Do they stay in?  If they stay in, do they eat together or individually at their desks?  If they go out, is it as a group or does someone pick up take-out, or does everyone go out seperately?  What if everyone wants to go out and I don't have enough money?  What if everyone stays in and I don't have anything to eat?  

This fear reminds me of lyrics to a song by Chris Rice: 
Why does the past always seem safer?
Maybe because at least we know we made it
And why do we worry about the future?
When every day will come just the way the Lord ordained it
You can believe it, yeah, just like the 8th grade

(Now, if you are in our Sunday School class at Highland, you might take issue with "the way the Lord ordained it" due to our recent discussions on providence and suffering, but we'll just overlook that for now...ha)

I like the message of the song--God took care of me then, He takes care of me now.

I'll let you know how lunch turns out.  Until then, what is the big fear YOU have when you face a change?


angie c said...

I'm thinking of you today. I know it will be great.

I laughed out loud at your fear. Mine is always "will I know how to use the microwave??". For some reason, every new job I start has the most complicated microwaves on the planet. This last one, you can't use the toaster or the microwave the same time the coffee pot is rumbling or you'll blow the fuse. And don't even think about using the toaster AND the microwave at the same time.

I, of course, blew the fuse and deleted everything off someone's computer. oops.

Hope you have an uneventful day! Looking forward to hearing about it.

Ashley @ pure and lovely said...

love the new blog template. I was totally that way at my "real" job, and even when I subbed. It was like, do I sit at the table with the teachers? will they talk to me? eating lunch by yourself is the saddest. I hope you have nice coworkers who invite you to eat with them. I always made an effort to do so! Hopefully they won't be socially Challenged. That always makes life a bit easier. ;) love ya!

Julie Young said...

I am totally with you on that one. I hate that feeling. I have that feeling when I go off to a training class. It's like who am I going to eat with. I hate to go eat by myself. Let us know how it turned out.
Oh yeah..If Ashley Mills is reading this will you invite me to read your blog. This is Julie Holt Young by the way. If not Jesse will you ask her for me. Thanks!

amber said...

Cute new blog template! Good luck with your new job! I'm sure your coworkers will love you and make sure you are eating lunch at just the right spot! And, no you were not awkward at 15. I thought you were so very fun!

Larissa Smith said...

Oh, I have a history of fear of change. As a child, I even went so far as to be scared that my kids in my class each new school year wouldn't like me...no big deal, except I went to a small private school where I had the same classmates every single year!

As for new situations, I am fine eating lunch by myself. However, I fear introducing myself to people. Not so much the "Hi, I'm so and so" part, but knowing how to move on from there and proceed to friendship. Where do you start? Where you grew up, went to school, are married, have kids, career plans?

And I love that song, by the way. Such truth.

Chad Billy-Steve Pknicholson said...

This one is easy. Just do what I did in the eighth grade - eat in the band hall with the other band nerds! Am I right? Anyone?

L said...

oh jess...i know your first day has come and gone...but i totally feel you on this one! :) my first day at my job here...i didn't know what to do for lunch...so i had brought a sandwich just in case...which was good b/c no one seems to ever eat out together...haha...so i just hid in my cubicle and ate...haha! figuring out office culture is really scary! my coworkers didn't give me a heads up on any rules when i started here...so my first day i had to move my car TWICE b/c i was parked in the wrong place! haha! i hope your adjustment period goes smoothly...and that you end up loving your job!! love you!

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